Fun and Games

Today I asked my family to give me four words each, hoping this might kick start my brain into creating a new story. Here's what they came up with:
Baby beast: beating stick, rope, dog chasing cat and 20.
Bog beast: pineapple, Afro, colourful and banana.
Bolchy beast: waves, duck, stick and roses.
Hubby: strippers, drugs, ladyboys and death.

Now I am looking at this list thinking what in gods name possessed me? What am I going to make out of that lot, but never one to shrink away fom challenge I decide to give it ago. Therefore this short story should not be taken too seriously. So I apologise in advance if this is a load of old twaddle but here goes.



Fun and Games

I am woken abruptly by a tremendous rucous.

"What on earth is that? " I shout at my hubby.

Who's lying unconcious beside me like he is in a drug induced coma. I shake him so violently I fear I might induce brain damage. Although I not sure anyone would notice the difference to be honest (evil giggles). Anyway there is still no signs of life so I lean into his ear and shout,

"Wake up, your like one of the living dead."

He groans and rolls over, snorting as he goes. Looks like I'm getting up to investigate the noise then, but I'm not going unarmed. I grab the stick thats been gathering dust beside our bed. It's purpose? Now thats a good question. It's only purpose is when my hubby threatens to use it as a beating stick. Which, I hasten to add he never has never done, before anyone rushes to inform social services.

I reach the landing to find baby beast in hot pursuit of bog beast. They remind me of that old cartoon Tom and Jerry. Do you remember the one, where the cat chases the mouse and the dog chases the cat? Anyway, oblivious to my presence, I have to duck as wildly aimed banana whistles over my head. Resulting in a yellow/brown mound of mush slowly sliding down the wall. That stain will be a permanent reminder that raising kids is no bed of roses. As I continue to shout and roar at kids to stop, they carry on as normal like I'm not even there. By this point bog beast has captured baby beast and proceeds to tie him to the bannisters with her colourful rainbow rope. Now proud of her achievements she finally notices the purple faced monster thats growling in the corner, formerly known as Mum. Who is trying to count to 20 as 10 is never enough to calm her rage. Boulchy beast NEVER leaves her room before 12pm so I know were all in for a 5-10min rant about disturbing her beauty sleep. To be brutally honest, I don't think another day in bed would sort out that afro she has happening on her head (wish I had camera).

Next to join the meley is hubby/dad. He has mistakingly put on my silk dressing gown as he is still half asleep. Although he fills it quite well he reminds me of a cross between a stripper/ladyboy (not a pretty one at that). Everyone stops to what their doing to stare at this outrageous spectacle formerly known as hubby/dad. Silence fills the the room, quickly followed by howls of laughter. Hubby/dad takes one quick look at himself, waves his hand in disgust and huffs off back to bed. At least the laughter has broken the hostility and normal service is resumed. Bolchy beast returns to her pit, bog beast heads for the tv room and I untie baby beast who scampers off to his Lego mountain. I decide to brave entering the play room where baby beast and bog beast are residing.

"Now you two, what was that all about?" I ask.

"She called me a pineapple,"spits baby beast. "Pineapple, what's wrong with a pineapple?" I ask. "I heard you tell daddy you hate pineapples," he whimpers. "Come here silly, that doesn't mean I hate you." "Anyway, your not spiky ,hard and yellow inside." "Your soft, cuddly and full of, full of............."

"POO." shouts bog beast.

Cue ear piecing scream from baby beast. Great I think, ..ding, ding...round two. Here we go again!



As I said not an earth shattering tale more of an exercise to see if I could use all the previously mentioned words. Hope it gave you a giggle, or at least a smile.
Thanks for reading it
Nicky x